Domestic violence by definition involves the physical and usually verbal abuse by one of the parties against the other in a romantic relationship. In many countries, domestic violence is a crime but in a few countries, it is not a crime. Algeria, Burkina Faso, Latvia and Russian Federation are a few of the countries in which it is not a crime. Domestic violence takes place among the poor, middle class and the rich. It is carried out and inflicted upon both the educated and the uneducated. Nevertheless, whether it is a crime or not, anyone who has left an abusive relationship will need to heal. The following are a few suggestions to help in this process.
Look at a Comedy Movie
At first, this may be challenging to do and more so if you have spent many years attending to the needs and wants of the abusive partner. Nevertheless, taking care of yourself can be done. So, you can take care of yourself by taking some time out to look at a comedy movie at home. After choosing a movie that you and no one else, wants to look at, sit down with, or, without some food and look at the movie uninterrupted.
As you look at it, when your funny bone is tickled, laugh out loud, but be forewarned, your laughter can turn into tears and that’s okay. Cry, if you must, it will be helpful too.
Plant a garden if you have access to some land, but if you do not have access to land, but access to an area where gardening pots can be placed, use those instead. Plant a flower, fruit, vegetable and, or, whatever garden you would like to have. It doesn’t have to be a large garden, or, a small one, just one that you will be happy with.
This activity can help to quiet your thoughts and feelings and sometimes, after working in the garden, you may even find yourself walking away with answers to questions that have been troubling you.
Go on a vacation
This is a major one and you might not be able to do it right away. If money is not an issue, other obligations such as work, children’s schooling etc. may affect it. Therefore, whenever it is possible, take a vacation. You can visit a country you’ve always wanted to visit, or, you can revisit a place that you’d enjoyed visiting. On the other hand, the vacation does not have to be in another country, it can be a “staycation,” as some would say. That is, vacationing in the country you are living in.
It does not matter where you go, what matters is that you get away for at least three days and allow yourself to enjoy this vacation.
Those who will build you up
Keep and be around those who would build you up and not tear you down. Of course, this is self-explanatory, but it can be easier said than done. Nevertheless, it can be done, but sometimes it will take time.
Spend time with those who would and are trying to build you up and not tearing you down. Do not put off spending time with them. Talk with them on the phone, on a computer and definitely in person.
It takes time
Do not force healing. Everyone heals at their own pace, so, do not compare yourself to others. One person’s healing process may take one year, while for another person it may take five years, but what matters is that you heal, so, keep on healing. Heal at your own pace.
A victim of domestic violence does not need anyone to tell them how spirit, soul and body crushing such violence can be. Therefore, healing after leaving such a situation is necessary.
Look at a comedy movie, plant a garden, go on a vacation, surround yourself with those who would build you up and give yourself time to heal.